Not Ready!

Well, the time is approaching rather quickly. I know I am not ready for the changes that the next year hold, but knowing God is by my side will make the difference. Tonight is Marlin's last night in the house. I feel like since we moved up to NY life has moved on to fast. It has been one thing after another. Not only will I take the next year to put our priorities in line but I will ultimately do it alone. I know I am not completely alone as I still have three children here with me but with them going to public school in the fall the house is going to be to quite. I am not good with quite on a daily basis -- makes my mind wonder and allows the devil to pry on my fears.

I am going to miss my husband very much. I will even miss the disagreements where I am usually right and well he isn't. Ok, there have been a few times when he was right but how can I admit that to him. LOL I will miss his smirky little grin and those dimples... or wrinkles they have become. I will miss our late night chats and banter. I will miss having him by my side in church! Most of all I will miss the way he holds me tight and kisses me goodnight.

As the days approach, I pray that God will wrap my family in his protection and hold us tight. I pray he will give us comfort like only he can. I pray that he gives me the strength to help my children through this time in our lives. I pray for patience as the Lord knows I need now more than ever. The courage to face all that is ahead. I pray that he walks with my husband as he embarks on this path. That as a soldier of God he will make a difference where ever he may go. I pray that God would give Marlin strength and protection as he does the job that he LOVES. I pray that God would give him courage and direction as he leads his men. Above all Lord protect him and bring him home safe. In your heavenly name....Amen.

Game Time!

It has been many years since Marlin and I have allowed the kids to play sports. I think it may be like 6 -7 years. We decided a while ago that we didn't want to be running around and pressuring our children to play sports. We thought we would wait until they showed an interest and than do what we can to make it possible. Well, that time has come. Trey has expressed an interest in playing baseball for the last couple of months. I found him a team that plays off post, in a little community called Black River. There are a total of 4 teams and they will play each other till the end of June. Trey only had 2 practices before the game today.

He was very excited and couldn't wait to get on the field. He actually has a very strong desire to be a pitcher. However, due to the age group (8-12 year old) he was told he probably wouldn't be able to pitch. Coach started Trey on third base and he did awesome. I am telling you he total surprised his dad and me. For him just to get out there and give it a try really made me proud. Especially, since the last time he played ball with a team was when he was 4 or 5 years old. I am not sure what inning it was but I saw Coach take Trey to the side and had him throw some pitches. I thought surely they aren't going to let him pitch......but they did.

Trey getting ready to pitch!

I will admit it brought a tear to my eye. To see my son get a chance to do something that he wanted to do was just plain cool. He looked so happy to be on pitcher mound. He was able to throw some strikes and he only hit one boy (not on purpose and he does feel bad about that). He looked really good standing up there. He has a lot of practice to do but I know if it is something he wants to do he will work at it.

I would have to say the best thing we ever did for our family was to stop all the activities and running around when the kids were younger. They are now at the age that if they really want it they are more focused and are willing to work hard to achieve their goals. I am looking forward to supporting them all in their future endeavors.

The Castle Ball

Well, yesterday I realized that there are some things in life I am just no good at. For example, I spent all day Thursday trying to figure out what to do with my hair for the ball. No matter what I tried it just didn't look right. I was so frustrated. Then after heading to New Attitudes Spa and Salon for a much needed eye brow wax it hit me. There are people in this world with gifts that I don't have, I will never have, and never care to have. So after getting in my car to drive home I put it in reverse and went back in and made an appointment for a updo. Amazingly enough they actually had an appointment for Friday afternoon. When I got there on Friday for my appointment the lady asked me if I had any ideas of what I wanted her to do. I said, "No, at this point I am so out of my element that you can do what every you want just make it look nice and make it last all night". LOL She was like no problem, I love doing stuff like this. God bless her, because I could never create what she was able to. The kids couldn't believe that that was my hair.

So, with my hair done, all I had to do was paint my nails and do my make-up. By 4:30 pm I was slipping into my dress and putting on my heels. I felt like such a princess. LOL I felt so pretty. Not to mention my date looked pretty hot too. Something about a man in uniform. This man in particular makes my heart melt. :) With us dressed and ready to go, Cheyenne took charge of the camera and started the photo session. Some of the pictures didn't take really well, but we will work on that for the next dance. LOL For some reason the camera made a lot of the pictures grainy. No, big deal.

I was getting a little nervous as we headed to the ball. Well, it was my first ball. We have never been with a Battalion that had a ball before. So for Marlin and I this was the first. It won't be the last because from what we heard this Battalion likes to have balls. The next one is slotted for when the guys get back next year. So, that means I have one year to fit into the other dress I have. LOL

I will tell you once we got there and I saw what some of the other wives were wearing all my nervousness went away. I couldn't believe some of the men would let their wives walk out of the house wearing what they had on. First of all this was a formal......dress code: below the knee or to the floor gown. Some of the ladies had on short (above the thigh), see through, and even dress pants. Some of the ladies had huge tattoos over their entire body, piercings all over, and some just looked down right trashy. I had to laugh at the ladies who were pregnant. It was like they tired to squeeze their now body into a dress made for their before body. It was a sight. Now, I the majority age of Marlin's Battalion is between the age of 18 and 25. That could explain a lot. LOL

Needless to say, once again I didn't really have the opportunity to meet anyone that was my age or with children the same age as ours. We were seated a table with 3 of Marlin's soldiers 2 of which were single and one young married couple. With the majority of the company being so young a lot of them are just beginning to have families or are still in the party mode. Marlin and I are so different than we were 13 years ago. I am sure I will make connections soon. I must be patient.
We spent the evening listening to speeches, traditions, and enjoying some good food. The formal part of the ball was over around 9:30 and the dancing began. At this point Marlin and I were just sitting around the table by ourselves. I told him I wanted to dance and he wasn't sure. I had to coax him a bit but finally he got up and shook his thing on the dance floor. LOL It was so funny because I have never really seen him dance. I really don't care to dance but give me a line dance and I am in. LOL They played a lot of dance club music that I am not familiar with but we danced and worked up a sweat. :) It was all good. I love him for just getting up with me instead of sitting around the table all night (that would have been boring). It would have been a lot different if we had made some friends before attending the ball and were able to hang out there with them, but that's not what happened so we just enjoyed each other's company.
Around 11:30pm we headed home to the kids. They were still awake but clearly very tired. We tucked them in, prayed with them and I think before we turned out their lights they were asleep. LOL It has been so weird being able to go out and have a date with my husband without children. It has taken me some time to get use to this new way of life, but the kids are older now and with that comes some freedom.

7th Engineer Battalion Castle Ball

630th Clearance Company

Some things are meant to change.

Well, the kids are registered for fall classes at Carthage Central High/Middle School. This was not a decision that I took lightly by any means. I was actually quite shocked when Cheyenne mentioned that she had been thinking about attending public school. All these thoughts started going through my head. Yes, all the self-doubt notions. I am very pleased that Cheyenne opened up and expressed her feelings to her dad and me. I know it wasn’t easy for her to tell her mommy that she wanted a new teacher. LOL

From the very beginning, I have told the kids that when they were ready to go to pubic school they could. As long as the school was acceptable. Of course, with Cheyenne toying with the idea of attending high school, I opened the discussion with the boys. It was a very funny conversation. Trey’s first response when I told him Cheyenne was thinking about going to public school he called her a “Traitor”. LOL Then his next question was would he have to be in the same class as his brother. I told him I wasn’t sure but probably not. His response was “YESSSS”! Of course he wanted to know if he would get his own locker.

When I talked to Tyrin about the whole idea his first response was, “Don’t you want me to stay home with you, Mommy”? I told him I wanted him not to worry about me but to tell me what he wanted. His next question was, “Will I have to be in the same class as Trey”? I said, “No”. He said, “YESSSS”! Of course the next thing he asked was if he was getting his own locker. Cheyenne and I about fell on the floor because those two boys are so much alike.

I told the kids that we should pray about the decision and after spring break I would call the school and see about getting a tour and an appointment to meet with the guidance counselor. On Friday, of last week the boys and I sat down with the middle school counselor and learned about the different classes that the middle school offers. They also had the opportunity to walk around the school for a tour. They were pretty excited. Cheyenne had to wait until this past Monday to meet with the high school guidance counselor. She was so excited. I could see that she was not going to decided to stay home another year. They counselor sat her down and did a four year plan with her. She basically picked her classes for the fall and the only thing holding her back was me putting the registration paperwork in. The thing the school has that I cannot provide is theater and sports.

If the laws up here weren’t so strict; and if the kids could participate in the school sports nothing would have changed. However, I know that they want to make new friends and I believe that God will watch over them and allow them to be a light. As weird as it may sound, there are not many kids where we are. Yes, we live on a military post and yet we cannot find the kids. Mind you there are little kids but not many their age. We just have to give it some more time.

Like I said before, this was not an easy decision. However, with God’s help I will make it though this transition. I love being with my kids and enjoy homeschooling them and I never really thought the day would come when they would want to go back to school. Things change. LOL I think I may be experience some abandonment issues. LOL Especially since Marlin will be deploying and the kids will be heading off to school. What will I do? I will be alone for the first time in 13 years. OH MY!!! That thought scares the day lights out of me. I know I will eventually get use to it. LOL For starters the idea is to go back to school myself and finish my degree. Only have 12 classes left for my BS degree.

Well, I better head off to bed. It is getting late and tomorrow is the military ball. I also have to register my baby for football…….why did he have to choose football. They run into each other. LOL Tyrin better run fast and never let anyone touch him. LOL

Below are the lyrics to a song Cheyenne shared with me. She was trying to explain to me why she wanted to go to public school and she told me to listen to this song. It broke my heart. I love you Cheyenne!

"Let Go" Check out the video:

Changing,Everywhere I am
I been stuck in a rut,
I been caught upYeah, it happens fast
Moving,
To where I wanna begin
I wanna find new life and see new eyes
And breathe again
(I'm gonna) stop now, take a breathIt's all so crazy


[Chorus:]

But I'm ready to let go
Looking forward to don't know
Forget about yesterday, get away
And live in the right now
Yeah, I'm ready to let go
And I'm ready follow
Anywhere the road bends
Where it ends I don't know
So let go


Oh, we live in the future
We got our regrets
Cause we don't live in
The present tense
(It's) hectic in my mind
(Gonna) leave it behind


[Chorus]

Don't wanna over think it
Don't worry so much
Gonna live this life
And not lose touch
I'm gonna let go


[Chorus]

Date Night

This past Thursday, Marlin and I had a so called date night. It was a little work related but in the end we were out together with no kids. Therefore, must have been a date. LOL

Marlin’s company was hosting an 80’s and below Spring Dance. I was initially going to do the whole poodle skirt thing but with the Military Ball a week after I wanted to keep the cost to a minimum. I’ve never attended a function like this and was afraid I would be the only one dressed up. So, I opted for the 80’s theme. Didn’t want to venture to far out of my comfort zone. Plus, I thought this shouldn’t be a problem since I lived through the 80’s. All I had to do was think about all the things I wore back in jr./high school. You know the MC Hammer pants, bunchy socks, florescent belts, jellies, bracelets, and don’t forget the faded/torn jeans. If only I would have held on to all my old clothes (provided I didn’t have children and weigh more) I could have worn them. The amazing thing is all these things are back in fashion now and you can buy it anywhere. So I decided that the History lesson for the day would be shopping for 80’s clothes. The boys had fun for a little while but after about an hour and 4 stores they were done. Cheyenne on the other hand was trying to pick out things that she knew she could wear as well. She would say, “Mom, it’s ok if you don’t want it anymore. I will gladly take it off your hands when you are done with it”. Wasn’t that nice of her?

It would only be fitting that I found just the right clothes at the same place I use to shop 20 odd years ago…The DEB Shop. So with much help from my children, who encouraged this way too much, here we are some pics from our Oldies Date Night. Cheyenne was our photographer for the evening.

The dance itself was a lot of fun. I even managed to Marlin to dance with me. Yes, he got up and did the twist. Mind you a man with a bad back should't really do this dance as we discovered. We both laughed so hard. We also slowed dance together for the first time in about 13 years. Way to long.

This Friday is the ball so I cannot wait to dance some more.

By the way the shirt Marlin is wearing his daughter picked out for him. It says,"Kicking it Old School". LOL She can get her dad to wear anything. LOL

Finally Connected Again

Well, we are finally finished moving around. I don't think I will get all the boxes unpacked as fast as I did the first time though. Starting to think maybe it could be part of my new decor. LOL

Life up here in New York is good. It has been an adjustment for me living this close to army life once again but it is much better than living alone. We really haven’t met anyone yet except for people at church and our neighbors. I actually attended a Women’s Conference last week and was determined to meet some moms with older children but that didn’t happen at all. It seems everyone is just having babies and I am so done with that. LOL For the most part the kids are adjusting well. I know it hasn't been easy for them and they are so eager to make new friends.
We have come to realize that there may be some big changes taking place in the next couple of months. I have always told the kids that when they are ready or want to go to public school that they could. Well, Cheyenne has voiced that concern to us and in the process have her brothers thinking as well. If we were living in Maryland that wouldn’t even be an option but up here in NY there isn’t a lot of support for homeschoolers. There are no local co-ops that I can find and the Homeschooling laws here are pretty strict. Before any one else says it ….I don’t want to start one. LOL Been there done that!

I know I could teach them and manage for the next couple years but I also have to listen to what my children are asking. The biggest thing is they want to play sports and meet new people. The youth services don’t offer sports for the teens because they don’t want to compete with the schools. They cannot participate in sports if they are not in the school. It really is a tough situation. I absolutely love to home school (this is our sixth year) and love being with my kids but I have also come to realize that I must listen to what they want as well. So right now we are going to pray about it and after we get back in town we are going to set an appointment up with the school and see about going in and checking out our options. I want us to have all the information before we make a decision. So please pray for God’s guidance on this matter.

Well, like I said we are heading to Pennsylvania tomorrow to see family. This is Marlin’s block leave and we will be going home for him to see family before he heads to Iraq. I am still in denial about the whole thing. I just don’t want to think about. However, our time together is very limited.

Have a Blessed Easter!

Moving Again

Well, I guess our first home was really temporary since we are moving yet again. As most of you know I do love to move. But usually it is every 3-4 years not every 18-20 days. This is crazy. I just unpacked my last box on the 27th of February and received a call from Fort Drum on the 3rd of March informing us of a house on post. There was no way for us to say no. When we walked in we couldn’t believe this was government housing. It was so beautiful and brand new. Did I mention beautiful? I am so excited to move into this house which is clean, pet free, and a front porch. The new place has a living room, dining room, a family room, a kitchen (with an island and lots of counter space), 4 bedrooms, 2 ½ bathrooms, a two car garage, laundry room, computer room, and spacious closets. I couldn’t be happier. I even told my husband I could live here forthe next 5 years or so. LOL Scary to think of moving from this house to dump we just came from. Cheyenne said it best, “Mom, we don’t have to share a house with other peoples germs. Our germs are the first ones here”. LOL Once we are settled again, I will post some more pictures. Picture on the left is the new house we have the side with the large front porch.

Well as for life here in New York…..it is good. We like the area and things are looking up. We found some really good restaurants and have realized the mom and pop ones are the best. We like to drive around and explore. On February 28th the kids wanted to go and do something. Really they just wanted to get out of the house. Cheyenne could not make up her mind so Trey made the decision and we headed to the New York State Zoo at Thompson Park (just up the road). Let me start by saying Trey hates being cold. The kid would much rather be in the south then to be in the snow up here in New York. Nevertheless, he decided on the zoo. It would have been fine any other day except that day it was only five degrees out. So here we are all bundled up with gloves, hats, scarves, coats with layers of clothes underneath, and hand warmers. We must have looked like true out-of-towners. We were so cold. The animals were so cold they were shivering. Cheyenne probably complained the most followed by the rest of us. Trey to our utter surpise didn't complain once. Trey was enjoying himself and didn’t seem to mind the cold like he usually does. It was so funny.

There weren’t that many animals out but we did get to see the zoo’s new additions: the white wolf and black wolf. From a distance we could seem them huddled together trying to stay warm, so I thought. That really wasn’t why they were so close. As we walked around the fence they walked up to us and were still very close but for another reason……yes, my children had a short class on animal reproduction that day. Not the zoo trip I was looking for. LOL

We also explored Sackets Harbor, which is very small. It sits right on the Lake Ontario. You could see the guys on the ice fishing. It is a whole other world up here. We have also had our fill of snow since being here. Some of the piles are bigger than Tyrin. Lately, the snow has started to melt and the other day it was actually 59 degrees. It was definitely warm enough to put on a sweatshirt with no coat.

I would also like to let you all know we have found a church home after three weeks of trying. We have settled in at Cornerstone Family Worship Center in Watertown, NY. We really felt a sense of peace and comfort when we walked into the building. We were actually invited out to lunch with the pastor and his family on the first day there. We spent about 3 hours with them and just felt welcomed. There was only one other kid besides our three in the Sunday school class this past week. However, they enjoyed the lesson and structure. Marlin attended his first ever men’s breakfast on Saturday and had a great time. It was good for him to get to know the other guys in the church. Next month there are having a dinner and a movie and will be watching “Fireproof”. He is planning to attend.

Things are just really falling into place here. Trying to spend time together as a family and get settled before Marlin gets deployed. Not looking forward to that day and in a way I am still in denial about it. I don’t like to talk about it because I just want to be a family without the added stress.

Let me take just a moment and thank you for your prayers this past month. Our prayer request now is for our children to meet some good friends and to have nice neighbors. Oh, did I forget to mention we are the only ones moved in so far and we don’t have a neighbor as of yet. What is God trying to tell me? LOL

I better run and get my house somewhat organized before the movers arrive tomorrow.

Blessings Everyone!

Oh, on a side note if you were wondering if our stuff made it in one piece to New York the answer is NO. We had a lot of things broken including our bed and desk. We also had 9 of our Wii games stolen. The funny thing is the person who stole it was in a hurry and didn't notice that three of the games he took were system games. Yes, looks like we will be getting a new Wii Fit, Wii system, and Outdoor Challege in addition to the other games they took. Let me just say it would have been cheaper for the movers to break our piano than all the other stuff they broke.